Friday, 6 January 2012

Not Just Another: New Year Resolutions Problem

To start with this not just another mundane piece of writing, on how the author has broken his or her New Year “resolutions” or “promises”. (Wait! Is there a difference between them? Later.) I am pretty much bored of reading them everywhere on blogs and in print media. I am guessing the average Joe would be too. Here’s my deal: I haven’t quite started on my resolutions from day 1 or t=0. Some 6 days later, I am still postponing on starting with the resolutions.

Technically, there is a difference. Since I haven’t started any till now, then I haven’t broken them. I am still waiting to go ahead with them. I am staring at this situation with them same hesitance we have before stepping into a cold swimming pool or a cold shower in the winter mornings. I understand it is for my own good, but hey, my current life isn’t that bad. I am still doing a lot of good things as a person, so what if they don’t add up? Who said I’m perfect? Well neither is the guy in the office with a yoga certificate nor is the former prom queen with a flat tummy.

Well, this is how I shamefully defeat my ‘Christmas special: early by 30 mins’ alarm every morning and doze off for those precious 30 extra minutes (They mean a lot). Every day I postpone it to another. The rate at which I am going, I guess I’ll have to make a resolution next year, to start my other resolutions on time. But, wouldn’t that be a New Year promise? 

This makes me come to the point I raised earlier, about the difference between a New Year resolution and promise. After consulting some dictionaries, blogs and my own common sense, I come to the following. A resolution is a determination (or resolve) one makes to do an act. Whereas, a promise is primarily a vow one makes do an act. In other words, every promise is a resolution, but, every resolution is not a promise.

You cannot go back on promise, because it is like a contract you make with yourself or other people (parties, they call in law). However, a resolution may be broken. For instance, you can say that you were so moved by emotions at that time and so now you break your resolve or determination. But, if you make a promise then, boy you’re bound to it.

So, does this mean I am entitled to postpone my resolutions indefinitely, but I cannot push over promises? The answer: Yes/ No, is for you to decide. I leave it to my conscience. Whichever side wins in my head, it is still going to take a while. Till then, I might as well get on with my life and postpone the debut of the sensationally enigmatic and charismatic ‘Brand New Me’ to tomorrow, or maybe the day after or ….

Smart Alec: One of my resolutions is to write this blog more frequently. ;-)

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Inured to Procrastination

Today, I said goodbye to the last of my remaining close friends.Gradually, all of them have moved out of the city, in search of what lies aheadin their future. A friend, quite different from the others and quite differentfrom myself. A person I would never completely understand and on whom I wouldnever take out time to do so. We would quarrel on more issues and accord on afew. After spending most of our school life oblivious to each other, we would goon to share the most memorable moments of our college life. Yet, I could notunderstand this earlier. I could not see this post coming.

Probably, I did take cognizance of this some time ago, only forthe thought to be pushed into the deeper recesses of mind. The culprit: me,obviously. Who was coerced by procrastination and its gratuitous benefits. What’sbetter than not expending energy on something now, when you have the option ofdoing it later. And then you enter the viscous cycles of delay and postponement,which ultimately goes kaput and leading to resentment and guilt. Sometimes, weare embarrassed to even remember how simple the task was, for instance, a smallphone call, a short errand, or still a little ‘sorry’.

I knew that my friend was going away in some finite numberof weeks, yet, I presumed it to be something in the distant future. It’s notthat I don’t like her company or I was ignoring her, but, somehow it wouldnever fit in to my schedule. I would place more importance on spending time andenergy working on my goals (or the future) that I would neglect presentrelationships. The fact that I am never going to live again, these momentspassing by, sends shrills down my spine.

As, you can judge by now, that I keep myself on a tight leashof introspection. I like thinking about people, things, processes and events.This blog would be a perfect platform to share my thoughts with people,thinking about the same things, but who never thought about exploring themfurther, or if tried, ended in vain. I would love to hear other’s experiencesand allow them to share them with even more people. Why I didn’t think about itearlier? Well I did, in fact years ago. Why I didn’t start this earlier? Referto title.

So, today was big wake up call for me. I realised thatscheduling things is not always possible. One should at times follow theirinstincts and passion, to do what they feel is right and not what is judgedright. I somehow managed to delay and meet my friend minutes before she wasleaving. I was inundated with the guilt of not meeting her before, but I heldon only to be left disheartened as she left. I wish I could have told her howmuch she meant to me, even if we did not meet often. How much more we guyscould have enjoyed our time. With all this I drove back home.

Convinced that I have borne the price of procrastinatingthings, I thought of the other item being delayed in these incessant cycles:the blog. Well here I am, writing my first post, hoping to be more of what I’dlike to see myself as. Writing on random thoughts, something I always wanted todo. I guess destiny chose a pretty apt subject for my first post J.
Best to finish thispost in the words of actor James McAvoy from the end of the movie Wanted(2008):
“Thisis me taking control from …. This is me taking back control of my life. Whatthe fuck have you done lately?”